How oft we throw it off and think,–’Enough,
Enough of life in so much!–here’s a cause
For rupture; herein we must break with Life,
Or be ourselves unworthy; here we are wronged,
Maimed, spoiled for aspiration; farewell Life!’
–And so, as froward babes, we hide our eyes
And think all ended.–Then, Life calls to us…
Still, Life’s voice!–still, we make our peace with Life.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh
I read this today in a used book in a second-hand bookstore. It is strange how we can come across answers we aren’t looking for in places we weren’t planning to be.
Life can call to us when we are at our lowest point, ready to give up, but maybe the call doesn’t come in time. Or maybe some are just not able to respond to Life with hope. There were some days in the past three years when I felt, “enough, enough of life,” but I somehow managed to keep moving, keep breathing. Now I feel my response to Life is, yes. It doesn’t feel like I am being disloyal to Malcolm any more to choose to stay here. I suppose I am making my peace with Life. I think Malcolm would approve.