New Year has never been a favorite celebration for Mal and me, and since we have lost Malcolm, even less. This year we stayed home and lit a fire in our outdoor fireplace and drank a glass of wine. I lit some of the candles we had hung outside for Christmas day.
In a way it is sad that I didn’t feel sadder. The loss has become the norm, the emotional baseline, and it is more and more possible to have the loss and also be happy. There is less guilt now about the happy moments.
Today we worked on cleaning up the attic. Still some work to do but we made a good start and took some stuff to Goodwill. Mostly housewares and some clothes. Once the attic has been cleaned we will be faced with the last remaining major task on our house projects list … Malcolm’s room. Maybe this year we will start on it. Maybe.