In Thanks

I am, and will always be, thankful to God for giving me the gift of Malcolm. My husband and sons are my reason for being. If I could go back in time would I choose not to give birth to  Malcolm? It was a difficult pregnancy; I hemorrhaged and eventually lost his twin. I was on bed rest for nearly 2 months with continued spotting. The doctor suggested a D & C — a termination — because of the blood loss and the possibility of damage to the remaining baby. Would I have preferred a termination then to watching him struggle with depression and finally lose at 24? Look at his smile and answer that for yourself.

Malcolm was a precious, precious gift and I will be eternally grateful for his presence in my life. He is part of me always. His smile brought joy to my heart, his humor brought joy to my life.

Happy Turkey Day Malcolm, I miss you so much!




2 responses to “In Thanks

  1. I look at my son’s last pictures at 25, so many say wouldn’t have been better not to have those years, that’s so far from the truth of my experience. I am in awe that I had those years. I feel cheated of the many more I thought I would have with him, but those I have are gifts I would never give up. Thank you for your bog.

  2. I don’t know how I found your blog….maybe I have responded here before. I am sorry for the loss of your son. I have struggled with suicidality for a long, long time and am in therapy after two suicide attempts. I guess in some ways, I relate to you in being a mom (I am a mom) and in your son and how he felt. I just wanted to say hello…you seem like a wonderful mother and I am sure your son is very proud of you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s