Monday the 19th

This month the 19th was a Monday, like the day Malcolm died.  It felt worse because of that. 31 months; 31  19ths.  I can’t fathom how it can be more than two and a half years since I saw Malcolm last. Like I said to the policemen that night,  I don’t understand, I don’t understand.  Tonight I’m just really sad and really missing him and I still don’t understand.

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3 responses to “Monday the 19th

  1. Hi, I found your blog from Kathy Broady’s. I had some time to read through some of your posts and I just wanted to say you are very strong and I admire you for that. You seem like a wonderful mom.

  2. My heart breaks for you, I have found myself the past few days being very weepy, I too miss my son, I awoke this morning thinking that I am forgetting what he looks like and screaming inside saying NO, NO, please this cannot be, it just cannot be…..

    Sending hugs to you and an understanding shoulder to lean on, I know how you feel all too well and it just plain sucks……..

    I and do not understand and NEVER will, EVER, all I want is to hug my son, to tell him how proud I am of him and how much I love him… It is okay to never understand something, it is okay… I wish for you a day of peace amongst the turmoil I know you live as do I… I am a Survivor of Suicide and I hate every minute of it….. Thank you for being so open and sharing, you are not alone…..

  3. i am praying for you. i can’t say i understand it all, but i can say that whatever Malcolm was going through he is now at peace, and would want you to be okay. Grieving is a process, and it’s hard, but you have to stay strong and keep living..do you think Malcolm would want that for you?

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